Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Heartbreakers Ball

Last week was filled with a lot of non-derby issues that I don't want to go into, so it was a good thing that Johnny Deep and I decided to make our way to NHRD's Heartbreakers Ball. The theme of the evening had been a Pajama Jammy Jam. Desperate to shake my ass to Kid N' Play's "Ain't Gonna Hurt Nobody," Johnny and I set out from my house with such quickness that we had to eat at Wendy's or risk Mr. Deep falling into diabetic shock. It's real, I've seen it, and the first sign is he's really mean. Like James Woods at the beach finding out his boat drink has sand in it mean.

Take it back. Now. If there's anything in it when you return, you're crab food.

The issue with going to fast food joints is that we both don't really like the food, but it's supposed to be fast. As Johnny had no cash (it's the 21st Century, so I know it's more common than I'd like) we had to go inside, at which point we are met with a line of twenty high school basketball players. All ordering the same thing, all claiming it was wrong. My hatred of delays and incompetence well-documented, I almost stroke out. In trying to avoid an appearance of seaside James Woods, I became him.

After arriving in Manchester, we ran into the party prepared to dance. I changed into my pajamas at the sign-in table. Meaning that I pulled my pants off and went in to the party in my underpants and a hat. Johnny, ever the man of action, also wore his pajamas (AKA his clothes). Johnny has been getting smoother and the beard he's grown for the winter seems to be having a positive effect on the ladies. I think it's because he looks like a Doobie Brother.

Michael McDonald gets all the ladies.

Once I entered the function room, I was ready to take that dancefloor. However, the duo playing acoustic guitar and bongos that had taken over the wooden floor were our primary source of music. Hmm. I expected to shake my ass, not chill and listen to covers of "Hey Jealousy" or the Bon Jovi catalogue. Do I think they were talented? Yeah, sure. And people did seem to dig their stuff. That's cool. However, the breaks in their set invited us to the floor where we danced as though our next fifteen minutes depended on it.

ROCK THIS NOW. BECAUSE THE JOVI IS COMING BACK!
Awesome times.

Ultimately, the Ball is about community. It's a kickoff of the new season for NHRD, and I dig seeing people, even if I can't dance. Currently I have sciatica so it's likely the bongo band did me a favor. The advantage of the floor being denied to us was that I got to talk to the new freshies, reconnect to the old guard, and pose for pictures that aren't scandalous so much as a reminder that the gym has missed me.

A wizard is eating my hat!
Can't wait for the season to begin.

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