The Fairgrounds were nice. Three tracks had been set up for derby action. Track One and Two were in the main building, and they were for sanctioned play. Track Three, which was in a smaller building a mere 300 feet away, hosted the various challenge bouts. We were excited as hell.
Going away on a tournament weekend and reconnecting with your friends from around the country is a lot like summer camp, or so I'm told. The nearest thing I can compare it to is my own grad school experience. Whenever I arrive on the Bennington Campus, I'm nigh orgasmic at the sight of other writers with whom I share a sense of common passion, interests, and favorite scribes. Being with the mouths of derby, I get the same sense of common passion and interests, but instead of moments of introspection, we're often getting louder than IEDS.
|Val Capone explains the proper way to project on a live call starts with a split.|
|Hey, Sexy pants!|
|Puget Sound has the speed to give you what you need.|
When the big game of the evening came, I hustled my way to Track One. Lady O was calling for the people watching on the internets, so the beautiful lady voice that massaged my ears with play-by-play goodness was Randy Pan's. The bout was so amazing, like watching a political debate suddenly turn into a Jerry Springer slapfight. The lead changes, the huge plays, the screaming fans...I was on constant overload. When the score was finalized (Denver 112, Rose City 98), I was thanking every god I could remember for giving me the chance to go to this tourney.
|Stop Motion won't help you. This was not a slow game, even in the sense that made you boo all 2009 long.|
|Lady O's "Biggie vs. Tupac" comparison about derby enthralls the boys.|
Back at the hotel, we were unwilling to go to bed right away. We went to the on-premises bar that was now packed with leagues and officials. I bought a drink, went over to say hi to the karaoke DJ, and promptly spilled my drink all over his deck. A panicked run to the bartender got us the necessary towels. Mortified, I sat down to lay low until we left the bar.
|PELVIS IS SO SMOOTH!|
However, the DJ was cool about it, ribbing me only a few times, and it didn't stop Lady O and I from singing anyway. If you were there and tipped him, thank you.
Before we called it a night, we met Power Jammers fans from UTAH, The Junction City Roller Dolls! As they are from the state of the Big Salt Lake, their alcohol is not as strong as ours. Imagine Bruce Banner is a UTAH beer. It's 3%, if that. Now, bring these skaters to a place where that beer gets angry and turns into the banned Four Loko. This = a cost-efficient way for them to get the type of screamy-laughy drunk they may not have had elsewhere.
The ladies were nice, full of energy, and didn't show any sign of slowing down or paying for their mind-blowing intake. As the weekend went on, they were indeed the front-runners of the marathon of partying that so many joined in on as the weekend wore on.
Happy and exhausted, we went to bed without any significant hoarseness and prepared for the second day.
NEXT: MORE BOUTS! MORE FOLKS! NINJA TURTLES SWEATERS!